What is A-Spec?
“A-spec” is an umbrella term for anyone who experiences little to no romantic or sexual attraction. This includes aromantics and asexuals, as well as demis, greys, and everyone else on the spectrum. Unlike more familiar terms like “gay” or “bi”, a-specs rely heavily on the split attraction model and often feel the need to specify both romantic and sexual attraction, since these types of attraction aren't presumed to align.
Split Attraction
The concept of split attraction allows people to clarify how they experience attraction by breaking it down into different types of attraction and then who they are attracted to. For many people, romantic and sexual attractions align, but understanding this model gives people freedom to explore. A person may be heteromantic and bisexual, a demiromantic asexual, or any other combination. Explore your own attractions using our SAM Worksheet!
Categories of attraction often overlap and can change from person to person. Here are some categories that are commonly recognized (some people may conflate them or recognize others):
Sexual Attraction: A desire to engage in sexual activities with another person.
Romantic Attraction: A desire to be romantic with a person. What is considered “romance” differs from person to person and can include all kinds of things, such as kissing, going on dates, or sharing a bank account.
Platonic Attraction: A desire to form friendship or pursue mutual interests. This is based on personality and other associations one might have with a person.
A related attraction is Emotional: A desire for emotional closeness and feeling a sense of connection or vulnerability with another person.
Sensual Attraction: A desire to interact with another person in a tactile way and share sensory experiences, such as touch (e.g. cuddling) or sound (e.g. listening to their voice).
A related attraction is Aesthetic: An appreciation for a person's appearance or presentation. This is often compared to how one would admire a painting in a museum.
Intellectual Attraction: A desire to be intellectually engaged with a person, such as having deep conversation, debating opinions, or seeking to understand how a person thinks.
Spiritual Attraction: An appreciation for a person’s beliefs/values/morals, or how they affirm your own beliefs/values/morals.
Aromanticism
Aromanticism is a term for experiencing little to no romantic attraction, recognizing that this is a spectrum of diverse personal experiences. Aromantics (or “Aros”) were first named on an AVEN online forum board in the early 2000s, though are known to have existed long before this term made an appearance. Many aros fulfill their emotional needs through platonic relationships. Aros may experience sexual attraction; they may choose to date or engage in behaviours that society considers “romantic”, or they may avoid romance, depending on personal preferences. Aromanticism is the opposite of alloromanticism (a term for those who experience romantic attraction).
Asexuality
Asexuality is a term for experiencing little to no sexual attraction, recognizing that this is a spectrum of diverse personal experiences. Asexuals (or “Aces”) were identified by Alfred Kinsey in 1948 as “Category X” and have been considered part of the queer community since at least the Stonewall Riots, but started to become organized in the 2000s, largely due to online networks such as AVEN. Note that libido and attraction are different things; some aces enjoy sex/masturbation, while others are indifferent, or actively avoid it. Aces may choose to date, but often need to communicate their sexual boundaries and physical intimacy needs more than others. Asexuality is the opposite of allosexuality (a term for those who experience sexual attraction).
A-spec Labels and Microlabels
Labels & microlabels provide options for how asexuals and aromantics can further specify their orientation. It’s important to note that not every a-spec person chooses to use these. Some people may feel relieved to find themselves reflected in a label or microlabel; it may provide a sense of community and help them better understand their experience or explain it to others. Others may feel it's unnecessary, overly complicated, or irrelevant. The choice to use labels & microlabels is personal, and your experience is valid either way.
Grey
Grey- is a prefix attached to the front of an orientation to describe how attraction manifests, such as greysexual or greyromantic. Greys are situated in between allosexuals/alloromantics (who experience attraction) and asexuals/aromantics (who do not). Greys experience some attraction, but at a lower level and less frequently than is considered “typical”. This manifests in many ways, such as attraction being rare or weak, a desire for it to not be reciprocated, or a desire for an emotional attachment to be present first. Some people also identify with grey terminology as a way of expressing an attraction that is not quite what one expects but is the best fit.
DEMI
Demisexual and Demiromantic orientations are considered under the “grey” umbrella explained above. Demis don't experience attraction until there is an emotional connection present. The development of an emotional connection to someone could form over days to years, depending on the person and context. Likewise, the definition of what an emotional connection includes depends on the people involved.
A related label is Fray (Fraysexual/Frayromantic). This is the opposite of Demi, where sexual or romantic attraction is initially present but fades after an emotional connection is formed.
Autochoriso / aego
The term autochorissexual was first coined by Anthony Bogaert and is derived from “autochoris”, translating to “identity-less sexuality”. It is a subset of asexuality which is defined as a disconnection between oneself and an object of arousal. It may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to participate in sexual activities. Autochorisoromanticism is the romantic equivalent of this, referring to romantic fantasies instead. In recent years, this term has been replaced with the shorter Aego (Aegosexual/Aegoromantic), but still holds the same meaning. Source
These are just a small selection of labels & microlabels! Others include Flux (Aceflux/Aroflux, an orientation that fluctuates in intensity), Spike (Acespike/Arospike, having sudden bursts of attraction), Litho (Lithosexual/Lithoromantic, where one experiences attraction but doesn’t want it to be reciprocated), Placio (Placiosexual/Placioromantic, where one enjoys performing sexual or romantic behaviours for others but doesn’t want it to be reciprocated), Ficto (Fictosexual/Fictoromantic, where one only feels attraction towards fictional characters), and many more. There are comprehensive lists online, such as AUREA.
Amatonormativity and Chrononormativity
Coined by Elizabeth Brake, amatonormativity is the belief that sexual and romantic relationships are linked, special, and should be prioritized above other relationships, such as friends or family. It also presents marriage as a milestone; it assumes that everyone is pursuing marriage and puts pressure on those who remain single, especially by choice. These beliefs stigmatize aromantics and asexuals, as well as individuals who are non-monogamous or single by choice. Source
A similar concept is Chrononormativity, first used by Elizabeth Freeman. It is the belief that people must follow an assigned chronology or timeline in order to be successful and have a good life. This timeline includes specific milestones in a specific order (e.g. marriage > homeownership > having children). Again, this impacts not just aromantics and asexuals, but anyone in society whose vision for their own life involves different goals and priorities. Source
Aphobia
As a direct result of societal norms such as amatonormativity and chrononormativity, people on the asexual and aromantic spectrums face discrimination. This is referred to as aphobia. It can include verbal comments and microaggressions (e.g. being told “You’ll change your mind when you meet the right person”), potentially dangerous medical assumptions (e.g. doctors withholding antidepressants because “it will lower your sex drive even more”), and on the most extreme, coercion and physical assault in an attempt to “fix” the a-spec individual. Aphobia is also embedded within mainstream 2SLGBTQIA+ culture; it’s common for aces and aros to hear that they “don’t belong” or “aren’t queer enough”, or to feel excluded from “love is love” campaigns that only acknowledge sexual/romantic partnerships. You can learn more about aphobia and how it can be counteracted on this handout, made by a SAAA member.